Wow. Sometimes you just HAVE to say it. "Wow". I had a "wow" moment today and many unanswered questions lingering in the back of my mind were answered. I'm no genious, but there are a few things that I am certain of. One: You should NOT wear lipgloss with your hair down on a windy day. Two: Your education and beliefs can't be taken from you by any human being. Three: relationships post-college are NOT easier or any less complicated.
I read, once, in an article that "if a man makes you cry once, like seriously cry, it will happen again". Girls, I have found through trial and error, the hard way, that this is indeed true. I'm telling you this but I know that, if you are a girl, you will not heed my advice and find this out by trial and error yourself. Also, I read that if "the shear thought of [someone] makes you cry" that they are WRONG for you. Trial and error.
Are we ALL creatures of trial and error? Is this the nature of our design and it's just an extra feature that makes a little bit tougher?
Be as it may that I have been a gal that has found a few things out the hard way and by trial and error, I'll help all you other ladies and gents out there by composing a list of..umm.. we'll call them guidlines.
JoJo's Guide to Surviving Everyday Life as a Chick and How to Be a Guy Without Receiving a Roundhouse Kick to the Throat
~If something smells bad, go the opposite direction. You can apply this to many situations. Discuss...
~If you call someone between the hours of 12:00am and 6:00am (First of all, if you're calling in between these hours you are probably
suspicious of something) and the phone goes directly to voice mail, the phone isn't dead, hunny. Move along.
~If he/she ONLY calls you between 12:00am and 6:00am, don't answer. Move along.
~If they cheat once, guess what, they'll cheat again. And again. And again.
~If a guy you've never met approaches you in WalMart and says, "oh, I thought you were Jennifer..", he is a skeezeball and will
most likely move forward by sexually harrassing you. You have two options after he says "Jennifer". One: Scream, run, tell the
fake security. Two: Kick him in the crotch, run, tell the fake security.
~Guys, don't try that crap from the previous guideline. You will now get one of those two options.
~You will not pick up a quality future husband/wife at a bar. Say it with me, "I will not pick up a quality future husband/wife at a bar".
~If you answer the door and he says, "are you wearing that?", close the door in his face, call up your girlfriends, and watch a movie.
~Boys. Do NOT Ask Your Ex Girlfriend To Dress Up Really Nice And Help You Make Your Ex Pre-Them Girlfriend Jealous! I hope
they give you a roundhouse kick to the throat and tell you to go (blank) yourself if you do this.
~Girls. Don't ever agree to that crap from the previous guideline.
~Slow and steady wins the race. Fast and furious= crash and burn.
~Boys. Don't ask your girlfriend to dance for your bros. I don't care if she IS a dancer, be it ballet or for a basketball team or on a pole.
If you do, I hope she busts out your knee caps.
~If they treat you like arm candy, they'll throw you away one day for another flavor.
~Goals are important. Have some.
~Communication is important. Communicate. If you can't, move along.
~Walking on eggshells=bad. Move along.
~If you offer someone a cappacino and they respond by yelling at you. Move along, they are a psycho.
~Don't be with someone if they want you to change who you are. Furthermore, don't try to change the other person.
This could go on and on...and on....however, these are the highpoints and hopefully some kneecaps will be spared because of this blog.
Very True
ReplyDelete